The Decision

"Choices are long lasting and life changing." – as quoted by Pastor Clendon Terry of Promise Land Church Ministries

So anyone who knows a bit about basketball might recall that just a year ago sometime in 2010, basketball superstar Lebron James publically announced to the world that he would be leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers to pursue his career with the Miami Heat. And in case you just don’t like basketball or live under a rock, you probably watched or at least heard somewhere that the Miami Heat fell defeated at the hands of the Dallas Mavericks who were declared the championship winners of the 2011 NBA Finals.

Anyhow, Mr. James’ decision was no doubt probably one of the biggest decisions that he would have to make in his career and possibly in his life. His decision came after considering the options that were before him, the benefits and potential rewards, in addition to his own will, personal desires and future goals. Whether people agree or disagree with him, that decision was his and his alone to make. And even today, that decision may still prove to be the best one down the road… only time will tell. In life, there are decisions that we are going to have to make and no one else is going to be able to make them for us.

Fast forward to the year 2011, Memorial Day weekend, after being harassed and literally hounded by my brothers AND my son, I too had a decision to make. For days, my son would ask “which team are you gonna be rooting for mom?” adding “make sure you choose wisely” [says the young Miami Heat supporter.] LOL So what I did was tell them all that on Monday, May 31, 2011, I would make “the decision” and let them know which team I wanted to win the championship - since my number one pick had already been sent home earlier in the season (insert unhappy face right here.) So prior to “the decision” I had a lot to consider. Did I want to be isolated from my family by going against the grain? Or should I pick the team selected by the majority so I wouldn’t feel left out? Did I pick the team that I felt actually had a chance to win this thing? So many questions came to mind before I made my decision but one thing remained… it was my decision to make. I would reap the consequences and/or the benefits of my choice.

Today I think about all of these decisions not merely in the context of a basketball game but in general. Some of our life decisions include, who we’re going to marry, where we’ll live, what school we’ll attend or which career path we’ll choose. All of these in some aspect are major decisions that no doubt require some thought and prayer.

Some time ago, I made the biggest decision of my entire life, and that was to follow Christ. I had a lot of choices before me and I could have gone in a different direction but today, my choice has proven time and time again to be the right one. Even though God has given me free will to make my own decisions and even be a free thinker, by allowing Him to guide me, I find myself making less and less decisions that result in disappointment and regret. Choosing a life in Christ has been the best decision I have ever made and as a result I’m receiving the benefits that he loads me with daily (Psalm 68:19). He is my protector, my provider, my strong-tower, my present help in time of trouble. By choosing to give Him my life, I’ve gained a new life in Him. I’ve opened up myself to receive the many blessings that go along with obeying His word and walking in His will. As you make your own life decisions today I urge you to consider this:

God says in His word that “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!” (Deuteronomy 30:19 – NLT)

When it’s time to make major decisions in your life, allow God to order your steps. There is a blessed assurance when your decisions are aligned with God’s word and will. I pray that you all choose life today!

Joy & Blessings!

(By the way, in case you’re wondering… I did just so happen to pick the 2011 championship winner, to the dismay of my son and his uncles! LOL Congrats Dallas Mavericks!)

Don't Ever Wonder

So I came up with the title of this post after reflecting on relationships and the little mental games we play with one another. Not too long ago I was listening to this old R&B cut (Don't Ever Wonder - Maxwell) that really spoke to the vulnerability and expressiveness of a man to a woman. In essence, Maxwell (the artist) is completely transparent in vocalizing how he feels about his love interest and further reassures her by saying in a nutshell, "if you're ever concerned about my feelings for you, I'm telling you now so you don't ever wonder." Profound.

Have you ever been interested in someone but had no clue, not the slightest hint of how they felt about you? I mean they kept a real good “poker face” for maybe even years until one day after you have moved on, maybe even committed your heart to another, you find out that this person was equally interested in you all along. Problem is that due to insecurity, maybe some past hurt or hurts and an extreme case of “caution my heart has been damaged”, instead of showing any sign or inclination of “opening up” every non-verbal and verbal cue says “go away, leave me alone, I’m not interested and I don’t want to be bothered.”

Recently, I think I read somewhere (maybe a friend’s FB post or something) that “if you have to wonder, then he/she is really NOT that into you” but could it be... that everyone is just so guarded? After all, the bible does tell us that we should guard our hearts right? (Proverbs 4:23)Something to think about indeed. I know that many times we become reserved and even reasonably selective in what we “let on” and which elements of our true colors we elect to disclose. However, I don't want to be so guarded that I'm unable to share myself with another even within the confines of a friendship. I would hate to have to analyze every little gesture, critique every statement, edit every sentence and literally dissect every single phrase and the “hidden meaning” behind every single thing all for the sake of self-preservation. Yet, it's what we do.

Believe it or not, this all made me reflect on my relationship with God. One thing for sure, I never have to wonder how He feels about me. I don’t ever have to feel so guarded that I’m afraid to just…be. I’ve never wondered whether He cared for me enough to see beyond my flaws and idiosyncrasies. I never have to wonder if I am beautiful in His sight and I never have to wonder if I’m good enough for Him to be pleased with me, although I’m so imperfect. I don’t wonder if He is disappointed because when I feel that I’ve done something wrong, all I have to do is say “I’m sorry” and I am forgiven. I never have to wonder if He still thinks about the wrong I’ve done yesterday. I don’t have to worry about hidden agendas, unclear motives, manipulative devices or ill intentions…not with Him.

I never have to wonder if He’s in love with me because I already know that He loved me first and at some point He has even loved me more than I’ve been capable of loving myself. He loved me so much that He sacrificed His Son, requiring His blood as redemption for my sin and death. He holds the very essence of my heart in His hand and in Him I don’t have to wonder because I know my heart, my soul, my mind, my destiny, my desires are safely entrusted in Him.

If you are in a position (relationship – business, personal or otherwise) where you are unsure about any thing… I urge you to tap into the Greatest love of all… Jesus Christ. Once you have Him, you will never have to do too much wondering. When all of our natural relationships are fruitful and blessed by God, they will pattern themselves after the relationship we have with Him and in Him… we don’ t ever have to wonder.

Joy & Blessings!

Rest & Restoration (even RAWC Stars require it)

So it’s about that time again… a new season, another opportunity to do some cleaning out, cleaning up and ultimately yet another time of reflection.

This week I actually had “Spring Break” from classes but unfortunately, I couldn’t get “life” to align itself up with my school schedule due to responsibilities to my son, the pups, my family, my clients, ministry obligations and everything in between. However, what I did decide to do was to give myself a mini-retreat. I went online and found a quaint little Bed & Breakfast in a small historic town where there’s probably only like 20 people who reside there. My room appropriately called the “Spring Room” (even though it feels like winter is trying to rear its ugly head for one last "hoorah") is filled with all of the comforts and amenities of a plush hotel but with a nice homely antique-esque charm. My room includes a Jacuzzi tub, electric fireplace and even free Wi-Fi, a T.V., and DVD player should I decide to listen to something other than God’s voice or that amazing group called silence. (smile) Within walking distance is a full service spa & salon where I will be indulging in a deluxe pedicure and maybe a facial if I can squeeze it in. And when that’s all said and done, I’ll probably venture across the way to a local restaurant and order the grilled lamb chops served with mint jelly, mashed potatoes and grilled veggies on the side… can you say YUM? (smile)

Now I’m not a rich & famous author (not yet anyway) nor am I rolling in “dough” or the “cheddar”… in fact I’m a “temporarily financially impaired student” (lol) and single parent, working part-time as a freelance writer/author and the other “part-time” as an entrepreneur growing my businesses and building my portfolio. Nonetheless, I decided that I needed this. After seeking God’s favor in prayer, He opened the doors for me to make this mini-retreat happen and I am truly grateful and blessed.

Even if you can't get away physically it is certainly possible to create an ambience of peace and serenity in your home even if for just a few hours. Nothing wrong either with asking God (Matthews 7:7 and Luke 11:9) to open a door, an opportunity for you to take a couple days and just REST in Him. Perhaps a friend or family member may even offer their home as a personal retreat.

Many times we can become so busy, so engrossed in life’s issues, so consumed in life’s work and so engaged in “stuff” that most of us don’t take the time we need to rest, be restored and get replenished. And truthfully, I don’t mean just “sleep” although for many of the sleep deprived, the term “rest” would serve all inclusive… however, I mean just taking some time to take in the beauty of life, meditate on God’s word or simply just breathe. In doing so, I mean without any interruptions, electronics (unless it’s to play some soothing, relaxing music) or other disruptive or negative distractions.

Unfortunately we become so inundated and bogged down that it becomes impossible to experience life in the fullness that it was intended. John 10:10 says that “I [the Lord speaking here] am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” So my question to you is this: Are YOU living an abundant life? (Something to think about huh?)

Now I hear lots of folks who have this “work hard now, I’ll sleep when I die” mentality. And even more disturbing is this mindset that many of us believers get trapped into accepting that we are to work, work, work in the vineyard with no rest in between when the God I serve says “come unto me all ye that labour and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28) Don’t get me wrong, God requires us to work and he absolutely despises slothfulness but our Heavenly Daddy knows that our mere mortal bodies can only handle but so much. All throughout his Word, He reassures us that He is there for us when we feel weak and faint, discouraged and stressed out. He beckons us to come and drink from the well of His living water. God is awesome folks! And He knows how to take good care of what belongs to Himself!! Can I get some “hallelujah’s”? ☺

So having said that, I hope that you too will take the time to reflect on a few things, especially if you are experiencing a great deal of stress in your life. Sometimes you simply need to take some time to shut down all of the outside noise and chatter that feeds your subconscious and allow God’s Spirit to administer peace and rest.

Gotta go but I’ll post some pics soon from my mini getaway. Until next time... remember to breathe!




Joy & Blessings RAWC Stars!

The “Frou–Frou She-She” of It All: Wedding VS. Marriage

So, I had the most amazing time helping out a dear friend with a bridal event that her organization hosted yesterday. (Huge shout-outs to Events Simply Beautiful and Tywana Tyler for a RAWC Star Bridal Soiree!!) The event itself was absolutely amazing and elegant. There were flowers and linens and makeup and cupcakes and a chocolate fountain and just “oh my!” LOL Certainly enough “frou-frou she-she” floating around to satisfy everyone! (smile)

So what is “frou-frou she-she” you might ask? Well, it’s all things “girly”, the things that some of us ladies dream about from the time we were little girls. It’s that whole “sugar and spice and everything nice” bit. It’s lip-gloss and flowers and shiny things. Frou-frou is actually a French term used to describe something as fancy, decorative, elaborate and frilly. The Urban Dictionary online describes the French derivative, “fru-fru” as being “very decorated or girly in nature; lacy or frilly in nature.” It can take on many forms as one completes her metamorphosis transforming from little girl to mature woman. Part of it is the whole romantic atmosphere thingy that makes us fall in “love” with the concept of being “in love.” Nothing wrong with a little “frou-frou she-she” right? Of course not! However, when it comes to the idea of marriage, something so honorable, so sacred in the sight of God it’s critical not to place the “frou-frou she-she” above that foundation in Christ.

Being around all that frilly and elegant wedding stuff yesterday really got my wheels spinning. I began to contemplate the idea of a beautiful wedding versus the concept (and commitment) of marriage and how they are not the same thing.

Once upon a time, yours truly, was engaged to be married. At that time my head was cloudy with a chance of blow bubbles and bouquets (and doves and ice carvings and streams of chocolate flowing from a lovely decadent fountain…LOL you get the wedding picture right?) I had so many ideas (even designed my own wedding dress), concepts, arrangements and "what not" to create the most beautiful wedding day EVER. I had boxes full of those big thick heavy bridal books, loads of brochures, flyers, postcards of various vendors and venues. We had considered having an outdoor ceremony at a beautiful park and then we pondered the idea of having the wedding aboard a cruise ship. All of these wonderful ideas were great but there was one very important thing that I neglected and that was, the marriage itself. The same energy that I expended delighting in the “frou-frou she-she” was not the same effort that I took to ensure that the marriage was being built upon a solid foundation (that foundation being in Christ of course and centered around God who IS love.) To make a very long story (that could actually someday turn into a book, hmmm…), when my 3-year engagement ended, I finally began to look at the experience no longer with fleeting and flimsy emotions but with a spiritual eye aligned and in tune with God’s will and His Word. As I allowed God to renew my heart I also began the process of renewing my mind and made a decision back then that a solid marriage was so much more important to me than a beautiful wedding. And even more of a priority than that, building a relationship with Christ was the foundation that I had simply missed all along. Even though my heart’s desire does still include a beautiful somewhat “frou-frou she-she” ceremony, if I can’t have a marriage that will bring God glory once the day is done…I’m content, right where I am.

After yesterday, I certainly remember how easy it becomes to get caught up in the beauty, décor and the planning of the actual day. Truly something that I think that every bride deserves to experience. However, today I’m so grateful to God for allowing me the privilege to understand His will and helping me to see beyond the “frou-frou she-she” of it all.

Confessions of a RAWC Star

Just a little bit nervous about finally returning to college to finally put some closure to a few things that have weighed heavy upon me for some time now. First class starts tomorrow evening and I’m a mixed bag of nervousness, excitement, joy and even a bit of anxiety all wrapped up into one. I had my doubts about actually returning to the physical classroom but after some deep thought and many prayers, I finally decided that this is the best way to go.

As I wind down tonight and think about how different my life is now compared to when I first started my college journey, I must confess, I’ve learned so much more outside of the classroom than inside the confines of any lecture hall. God has amazed me with His tutorials, His life lessons, His home assignments and the many tests and exams to solidify my understanding and growth before being promoted to the next level. All I can say when I think about then to now is “Lord, thank you for your mercy and your grace!”

I must say, in that perspective returning to school for academics seems like it might be a lot easier than some of the hard life lessons I’ve had to endure over the past decade of my life. Yet and still God understands how much it means to me on a personal level to finish this chapter in my life and I thank Him for honoring my heart’s desire and opening the door me to accomplish my goal. (By the way, I know of this GREAT book called Daily Inspirations for Adult Learners: 31 Days of Prayer, Encouragement and Personal Reflection to Help You Achieve Academic Success...please check it out by clicking this link.

So with that, I’m girding up my college-bound loins, shodding my feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace and heading to class tomorrow! Thanks for reading my RAWC Star ramblings and remember,

Confession is good for the soul they say...

God of a Second Chance: Move On, Don’t Look Back

So today I had to take a writing placement exam before I start my classes this month on the 24th and I think I did pretty well considering that all I had to do was formulate an essay to support my opinion on a given topic. Needless to say, I don’t mind these kinds of “tests” because as a blogger/writer/author/journalist… well simply put, I love to write. After having such a topsy turvy week, landing in the ER and still recouping from of a car accident a few days before Christmas, I pressed my way to campus for the test. As I scurried about this morning, I had to stop and just begin praising God for blessing me with a second chance at this whole school thing.

You see a long time ago, I thought I had blown it. I dropped out of college after experiencing severe depression as a result of a date rape. (if interested, I share a little more about my testimony in my first book “Content… Right Where I Am” which is available for purchase through www.joyturner.net and Amazon.com.) From that point forward, I had difficulty recovering from that one isolated occurrence. Despite the fact that I did return to school to obtain my Associate’s Degree (Magna Cum Laude… I might add) I still had challenges moving ahead, mentally. Leaving school the first time was equivalent to failure in my mind, and from that there was no recovery. BUT GOD!

Over the years, I have been in personal battle with coming to grips with the fact that no matter what occurred in the past, I couldn’t go back and re-do any of it. There is no “undo” key, no “do over” option and no rewind button to press but as I began to seek God’s face concerning the matters of my past, the mistakes I have made, the things that others had inflicted upon me, and even my own indiscretions, God moved in my Spirit and I felt two words rise up within me: Move On. This I have learned is the key to my total restoration in Him and He is requiring all of us to do just that.

Many of you know the story of Lot’s wife who looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. The key thing is that God Himself instructed them not to look back at the cities that they were leaving behind. It was a necessary component for receiving God’s blessing and progressing forward but the temptation to look back was so great that she could not resist and so great was the consequence. Suffice it to say that looking back hinders our progress and we become figurative “pillars of salt” in our minds and spirits as we are stagnated and paralyzed by the pain from the past. The New Living Translation of Philippians 3:13 reads where Paul says “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” So today I ask you, just as I’ve had to ask myself, what “cities” do you need to leave behind and never look back in order to press forward? If God has given you a second chance, there is no one who can stop you and no one who can hinder you… but YOU. I encourage you to take the second, third, tenth or fiftieth chance that our merciful God has given… and MOVE ON! 

Butterfly in a Jar (with 3 holes in it)

When my brother Bryan was younger, he used to catch insects and stick them in a jar. He would throw some grass and dirt in there and maybe some pieces of food that may have fallen to the ground. One particular time I remember he caught this butterfly; little yellow thing, nothing real big or too fancy. My brother prepared its glass “home” as he had done for the others and to top it off he poked holes in the lid of the jar… (sigh). Ok so, back in the day, that was reasonable… I mean it was out of complete compassion and consideration for the insect’s well-being that he even took the extra measure to poke the holes to begin with (I really am going somewhere with this so stay with me…) Needless to say, the butterfly probably didn’t make it a good 24 hours which was extremely devastating to me but I think once it was confirmed that the poor little guy had flapped it’s wings for the last time, my brother took that as a green light to donate it’s frail remains to the scientific experiment of his choice (smh).

I suppose you are wondering what this little intro has to do with anything whatsoever and I’m about to enlighten you. Well, very recently I was sitting at a desk, in an office building, inside of a cubicle, doing oh…some typical “office temp work.” After I completed some very basic and minor tasks for the day, I began to get a little fidgety as I turned into a classic case of a clock watcher for the remainder of my 8 hour “sentence”(8.5 if you count lunch.)

So just to rewind a bit and give you some history, I had become a little bit used to dictating my own schedule as I had once again been tossed into the throws of unemployment and rescued by the life raft of entrepreneurship and freelance work. My almost 2-year stint as a work-at-home/run my own shots/spend hours in the gym-inthebestshapeofmylife/freelancer had me a bit spoiled in a sense. So spoiled that I actually went into a bit of shell-shock (or cocoon shock, just to keep it consistent with the whole butterfly theme) once returning to work full-time.

So here I sat, at a desk with a bunch of pencils, paper, folders, files and nothing really left to do once I completed the tasks that were assigned. My natural inclination was to simply occupy the time by doing some other freelance assignments (as I would have done at home) but then I quickly realized that these folks who now owned my time for these 8.5 hours a day, wouldn’t really appreciate that too much. So what I had to do, was master the art of creating the illusion that I was actually working. See, I couldn’t do any of my own writing, researching or reading but as long as I pulled off the façade of doing “work” work… it was all good. I gotta tell you that this was probably the most exhausting thing about being back in the 9-5 saddle “jar.” I could sit there for hours and re-sharpen the same pencil over and over again but I couldn’t dare go to Google and research for one of my numerous articles or blog posts that I desired to finish. I could sit there and pretend like I’m looking at the outlook Calendar but I dare not crack open my bible study notes or meditation scriptures. And once I verbalize that I’m open, eager and willing to do any tasks that would help to suck up the time, the only solitary task that could be found is to pull staples from a million packets of paper???… Father help!

One day, I just started thinking about how that butterfly felt in that jar. I imagined that what I felt at that very moment was exactly like the butterfly trapped in that tightly concealed space. To have wings to fly, but “captured” in a jar and unable to move beyond the boundaries that have been created by someone else. To have the ability to move through space and air, effortlessly and freely, co-mingling with other butterflies and insects but now confined to the density of an enclosed space with very little mingling with others unless they happen to be inside the same jar. To have beautiful wings that were meant to fly possibly around the globe but to be isolated in one space, one location for an indefinite period of time. To be forced to eat a diet of mundane mediocrity when you once had the fruit of life at your wing tips. To have the whole world under your wings but now only seeing it through a glass jar… only able to breathe in that little bit of air at a time through those three tiny holes (there’s your lunch and two 15 minute breaks.)

Well, I tell you what though… I’m grateful to God for positioning me in a place where I can become more motivated than ever to pursue His divine path for my life. I am trusting in Him like never before to open uncommon doors that my destiny might be fulfilled and in the interim I’m learning how to be grateful, how to be patient and how to still be “me” regardless of where I am positioned. I’m increasing my faith, realizing that this “jar” is only temporary but necessary for God to fulfill His purpose. I am leaning to God’s word and believing that my gift will make room for me. And finally, I am embracing not only my own creativity but I’m appreciative of those who aren’t like me at all. Not everyone feels like the butterfly in the jar with the 3 holes in the lid and some people truly love their corporate office “jars” and that is A.OK by me!