When it comes to building proverbial walls, believe me… I know all about that. In fact, you could’ve called me “Bob the Builder” when it came to making sure every nook and cranny between every single solid brick was tightly concealed and reinforced with the “mortar” of bitterness, unforgiveness, fear and rejection. Truth is, there is a certain level of safety and false protection that came with these (wo)man-made “walls” that could easily be justified considering the sexual, emotional and mental abuse endured. And even after surrendering my life to Christ, I still maintained that position for a good minute within the confines of my brick & mortar safe house on a hill. My mantra? The good ole’ “guard your heart” theory, biblical even. But the caveat? These walls were so thick that even I began to struggle to penetrate through them on my way out. In other words, not only was it difficult for others to really get into my space and get to know me beyond the initial layers of introductory formalities but now I struggled to even re-claim my own identity outside of the “hurt” that had me bound for so long. Once I made a head and heart aligned decision to stop adding layers and be made free once and for all, I wasn’t completely loosed all at once or right away. Once you stop adding bricks, you then have to begin to deal with the wall (s) that have been constructed… no matter how high. Just a side bar: some of us begin building walls from inside of a ditch… imagine trying to climb out from the depth and height of THAT prison!
Jesus, being love personified, came that we might have life and that we might be released from the prison created by our own hands, or rather, minds. But as my Pastor once taught, thinking correctly is a choice (that can be made instantaneously) but the renewing of one’s mind is a process.
Now I still hold true to God’s word when it comes to guarding my heart (Proverbs 4:23) but when God says “trust” I have learned to do just that (Proverbs 3:5.) When God shows me someone else’s heart and that they are genuine but have been hurt just as I had, through His eyes He teaches me how to reach them, how to pray for them, how to love them even if at a distance. And when it comes to the various complexities of my own issues (which by the way, haven’t exactly disappeared) I know how to weigh them against His word and not allow anything to become “stumbling blocks” towards my own personal progression.
Jesus, being love personified, came that we might have life and that we might be released from the prison created by our own hands, or rather, minds. But as my Pastor once taught, thinking correctly is a choice (that can be made instantaneously) but the renewing of one’s mind is a process.
Now I still hold true to God’s word when it comes to guarding my heart (Proverbs 4:23) but when God says “trust” I have learned to do just that (Proverbs 3:5.) When God shows me someone else’s heart and that they are genuine but have been hurt just as I had, through His eyes He teaches me how to reach them, how to pray for them, how to love them even if at a distance. And when it comes to the various complexities of my own issues (which by the way, haven’t exactly disappeared) I know how to weigh them against His word and not allow anything to become “stumbling blocks” towards my own personal progression.
A very dear friend of mine, hipped me to the phrase “self preservation” and when I consider that revelation I truly understand that in many cases we require protection from ourselves. Jesus being the King “life preserver”, has extended His loving hand to us today and all He requires of us is the willingness and He will become the “bulldozer” to demolish those “walls.”
