Don't Ever Wonder

So I came up with the title of this post after reflecting on relationships and the little mental games we play with one another. Not too long ago I was listening to this old R&B cut (Don't Ever Wonder - Maxwell) that really spoke to the vulnerability and expressiveness of a man to a woman. In essence, Maxwell (the artist) is completely transparent in vocalizing how he feels about his love interest and further reassures her by saying in a nutshell, "if you're ever concerned about my feelings for you, I'm telling you now so you don't ever wonder." Profound.

Have you ever been interested in someone but had no clue, not the slightest hint of how they felt about you? I mean they kept a real good “poker face” for maybe even years until one day after you have moved on, maybe even committed your heart to another, you find out that this person was equally interested in you all along. Problem is that due to insecurity, maybe some past hurt or hurts and an extreme case of “caution my heart has been damaged”, instead of showing any sign or inclination of “opening up” every non-verbal and verbal cue says “go away, leave me alone, I’m not interested and I don’t want to be bothered.”

Recently, I think I read somewhere (maybe a friend’s FB post or something) that “if you have to wonder, then he/she is really NOT that into you” but could it be... that everyone is just so guarded? After all, the bible does tell us that we should guard our hearts right? (Proverbs 4:23)Something to think about indeed. I know that many times we become reserved and even reasonably selective in what we “let on” and which elements of our true colors we elect to disclose. However, I don't want to be so guarded that I'm unable to share myself with another even within the confines of a friendship. I would hate to have to analyze every little gesture, critique every statement, edit every sentence and literally dissect every single phrase and the “hidden meaning” behind every single thing all for the sake of self-preservation. Yet, it's what we do.

Believe it or not, this all made me reflect on my relationship with God. One thing for sure, I never have to wonder how He feels about me. I don’t ever have to feel so guarded that I’m afraid to just…be. I’ve never wondered whether He cared for me enough to see beyond my flaws and idiosyncrasies. I never have to wonder if I am beautiful in His sight and I never have to wonder if I’m good enough for Him to be pleased with me, although I’m so imperfect. I don’t wonder if He is disappointed because when I feel that I’ve done something wrong, all I have to do is say “I’m sorry” and I am forgiven. I never have to wonder if He still thinks about the wrong I’ve done yesterday. I don’t have to worry about hidden agendas, unclear motives, manipulative devices or ill intentions…not with Him.

I never have to wonder if He’s in love with me because I already know that He loved me first and at some point He has even loved me more than I’ve been capable of loving myself. He loved me so much that He sacrificed His Son, requiring His blood as redemption for my sin and death. He holds the very essence of my heart in His hand and in Him I don’t have to wonder because I know my heart, my soul, my mind, my destiny, my desires are safely entrusted in Him.

If you are in a position (relationship – business, personal or otherwise) where you are unsure about any thing… I urge you to tap into the Greatest love of all… Jesus Christ. Once you have Him, you will never have to do too much wondering. When all of our natural relationships are fruitful and blessed by God, they will pattern themselves after the relationship we have with Him and in Him… we don’ t ever have to wonder.

Joy & Blessings!